Another Typical Day At Blanchester Unified High School

It started off as a typical day at Blanchester Unified High School. Emily was sitting peacefully at her desk working hard on a diagram of the new Giraffe-taming device she was building. When class began, a substitute walked in! And this one looked stranger than most – he was wearing two Dresses on his Heart, and his Lungs looked groggy. Some of the kids were already laughing, and the sub hadn’t even started to Cook. “Attention, class!” he yelled, and all the students had to Run, because his voice sounded so Cumbersome. “Today we’re going to learn all about the cunmishloop, and its home in Ethiopia, and the Wombats it eats. Who wants to tell us what they know about the Horrorific cunmishloop?”

Someone in the back raised their hand. “Doesn’t Britney Spears have a cunmishloop?”

Someone else said, “I think the cunmishloop spreads HIV!”

Someone else said, “I heard the cunmishloop eats Venus Fly Traps!”

The substitute said, “You’re ALL right! The cunmishloop used to live under Microwave and would often bite the heads off small nematodes with its vicious Pancreas. But people started using Cyanide to kill them off, and now there are none left except in small areas of Ethiopia. The poor cunmishloop is practically extinct!”

Emily raised her hand. “Excuse me, but that’s just a loo-loopooloop lie,” she said.

The substitute’s Liver got red. “How dare you!” he screamed, but then shut his mouth quickly when Emily reached into her pocket…and pulled out a perfectly healthy (and very hungry) cunmishloop!

“Meet my pet, Shiela,” said Emily ...but everyone had already run out of the room, screaming their Esophagus off.

from = badlibs