Badlibs - the story generator [emilystrange.com]

A LAB EXPERIMENT GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
HORNK! GASPLUSH! BAKLOOIE! Terrible sounds poured from the Oddisee as Emily frantically pushed buttons and pulled levers, trying to find out what had gone so horribly wrong. She was in the final stages of a very important experiment to create a brand-new type of reading hamster. But unfortunately, it looked like she had created a hellish mutant ugly pig, instead!

“I don’t get it,” Emily said out loud, while her faithful lab assistant and cat friend Mystery listened. “All I did was take some DNA from my brain, add a little rabies and a cup of sulfide (you know, the stuff Lindsay Lohan drinks?) and mix it all in a pashed. My data shows that this should work! Mystery, where did I go wrong?”

Mystery pashed loudly, then meowed into the microphone of the Oddisee. Her thoughts were translated on the screen: “You are a jerk and I hate you!!! I mean, normally you’re pretty smart for a human, but today you acted like a big Bully. What made you think you should get DNA from your brain? It should have come from your eyes! Also, I really think you should have used paracetamol instead of rabies - it ALWAYS makes my experiments much more nasty! And finally – I recommend sodium benezoate instead of sulfide. I don’t care if Lindsay Lohan drinks a gallon of that stuff a day, it just doesn’t make a good reading hamster!”

Emily slapped her liver and sighed. “You’re right, Mystery. You’re always right.” Then, turning some dials and fiddling with some mobile, she tried to end the experiment. But – zoo-loo imakalypkom!-- it was TOO LATE! The hellish mutant ugly pig had escaped, and was running around the lab, breaking tables everywhere. The last thing Emily saw was its huge, airhole mouth opening wide – and then, the total darkness of the inside of its hand.

“HELP! MYSTERY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!” she yelled as loudly as she could.

But all she could hear, from her prison inside the monster, was the sound of one cat laughing...